


The Time Keith Sneezed

by bazzledazzlewriting



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Multi, Other, Voltron, basically shiro babysits a bunch of teenage gods, god AU, honestly this isn't even serious it's just a mess, keith and lance are a mess, keith and lance are like an old married couple tbh, lance is salty, may change - Freeform, minor ships, shiro is done, the crew makes meme references ahead of their time, the title isn't even the focus point of the story, they give allura a macaroni bracelet, vld
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 14:13:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15731055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bazzledazzlewriting/pseuds/bazzledazzlewriting
Summary: When the river runs dry at Shiro's small village, the council collectively agrees to send him on a quest to seek the deities responsible. Except no one ever warned him that the almighty gods were not all knowing and powerful, but a couple of teens that some genius decided to give the world to.





	The Time Keith Sneezed

**Author's Note:**

> Basically an idea me and a friend had at a summer camp last year (because the next voltron season I think it was season 3 came out while we were at camp) where Lance, Pidge, Keith, and Hunk are gods. I may make this more serious later and add some angst, but for the most part its just them being dorks. Also btw when the gods say stuff like "oops wrong era" it's kinda cuz i had this headcanon that they can almost see into the future and sometimes they do it without realizing and references slip up and Shiro is Confused(TM)

It was a beautiful spring morning with birds chirping and squirrels scampering across the grass. Helios had just begun to pull his sun chariot across the sky, making it marvelous shades pink and orange. Morning dew clung in small droplets onto leaves and strands of bright green grass, a small blessing from the village's nature goddess.

In the early dawn hours of the day, people were already arising, off to farms and school. Chores began, people grabbing buckets and heading for the village's main source of water; it was a little stream, surrounded by forest in which a water god provided them with the freshest of water.

Lugging the buckets and piles upon piles of dirty laundry, they walked and walked, their blistered feet aching with every step. But still, they trudged on.

They finally reached the clearing, the blue sky visible through the green leaves. The villagers praised the nature goddess once again for the beautiful morning, but their thanks died in their throats as they looked down. As usual, the brown dirt dipped down into what would be a flowing river with water that varied from crystal clear to a murky brown, depending on the day. The water changes to what the mighty god of water feels like the villagers deserve. 

Yet today, the water was not clear or murky. In fact... there was no water. 

It takes a long moment for someone to react. Then a pudgy woman with white hair and dark shin drops her basket of laundry and cries out in a soulful voice, " _Oh great god of water, what have we done to disappoint you so dearly_?" Her voice eerily rang out through the crowd, a fog seeming to settle over the crowd as the sky darkened. Then, there was chaos.

 

* * *

 

 

The news spread like a wildfire. Everyone abandoned their buckets at the dried out stream with fish laying dead in the trench where the water once flowed and spread the news, sending everyone within a mile into shock. It wasn't too long before the houses of Altea, Balmera, Galra, and Garrison came together to discuss how to survive this sudden drought. 

"We mustn't let fear control our people," the representative of the Balmera, Shay, says. 

"They have every right to be afraid. The water god has cursed us all," the representative for the Galra, Zarkon, says in his grumbly voice. Beside him, his son Lotor nods in agreement.

"Do we really want our people to fear the gods instead of worshipping them?" a member of the Garrison house says, standing up. He had black hair trimmed to a buzz cut with a tuft sticking out at the front. His clothes weren't much, definatly not as extraordinary as the house of Altea and Galra. He was wearing slightly dirty cotton paints and a tunic, but he still had the air of a leader. Everyone turned to him. 

Behind her hand, an Altea woman tries to hide a snort, but it drew everyone's attention to her. 

"Allura, Coran. You've met the gods, right?" They nod, Allura trying to hide a smirk.

"Do you have any idea why the water god may be punishing us like this?" Allura and Coran share a knowing look and Allura clears her throat, trying to keep a straight face.

"It is impossible to um... understand these beings. I do not know why the water god has done this to us, but perhaps...."

"Perhaps...?"

"Perhaps we can send one of our own to ask him?" There is a shout of protest that comes from the house of Balmera.

"We both know that is too dangerous of a quest to put any of our citizens on," Shay says in a soft voice. There are murmurs of agreement and shouts of protests that Shiro soon silences with a single wave of his hand. Although the house of Galra still glares at him. 

"I will go," he says, his expression neutral. A gasp echoes through the room, most of which is coming from the house of Balmera and Shiro's compainion, Matt. The Galra look like they couldn't care less. 

"Shiro it's too dangerous!" Allura can't hold it back anymore. She bursts out in a fit of giggles. Everyone turns to her, confused. Allura's laughs soon turn into coughs.

"Clearly you don't know much about Mr. Shirogane," Allura says, recovering. 

"It's Shiro." Allura nods.

"Shiro is more than capeable for this quest. All in favor of sending him to speak to the water god, say 'I.'" The houses of Garrison, Altea, and Balmera say "I." The house of Galra scowls. 

"It is settled then. Shiro of the Garrison House will go on a quest to seek the god of water. Meeting adjourned.

 

* * *

 

 

In the small little village hidden in the valley of Arus, the four houses each had a patron god. Altea's was the god of water, due to their importance in the daily function of the village and their connection to the god himself. Their opposing house, the House of Galra, had the fire god, due to their aggressive nature and impulsive actions. They were mostly in charge of military operations with trained soldiers that could kill someone in thirty seconds flat. The third, the house of Balmera, had the patron god of earth, because of their kind and gentle nature and their super strength. And lastly was the house of garrison, who's patron goddess was the goddess of nature... which is probably why Shiro ran into her first. 

The deeper you went into the woods, the more ominous it felt. The blue sky disappeared as leaves and vines covered up the sky and woodland critters made noises. The tree branches swayed in the wind, almost as if they were saying, "Turn back now. Go away." Goosebumps dotted their way across his skin, but still he pressed forward. He had to help his people. 

The next thing that happened was a wolf darted out in front of him, snarling. Shiro jumped, taken aback, but he looked the wolf in the eye with an expression that said, "Not today, Satan." The wolf shrank back, whimpering and ran off. Shiro continued forward, making his way into the clearing. 

In the middle of the clearing sat a girl who didn't seem to be much older than fifteen. The sun poured around her and she had her legs crossed, facing away from Shiro. Her head was bowed in concentration and her lips moved as she repeated a phrase over and over that Shiro couldn't hear. The wind whipped around her, the leaves swirling in the air. Her hair was short, tied in a small ponytail and she vaguely reminded Shiro of Matt. 

"Excuse me--" The girl jumped, turning to Shiro, her eyes wide. A strong gust of wind blew through, almost knocking Shiro off his feet. 

"DAMNIT."

"Um what?" Shiro blinks. The girl stands, her brows narrowed. 

"Stupid wolf. Stupid Keith. He told me it was scary."

"Are you... where are your parents?" The girl turned to Shiro, one eye twitching. 

"Didn't you hear the warnings?"

"What--"

"THE TREES."

"What the--" The girl huffs, sitting back on the ground, pouting. 

"A hundred years. I made it a hundred years without some idiotic human that wasn't Allura bothering me. A. HUNDRED. YEARS." Shiro finds himself even more confused. His head is spinning, but he latches onto a name.

"Allura?" The girl turned back to Shiro, and in the blink of an eye she was right in front of him, standing on the tips of her toes, squinting, as if trying to see through him.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Takashi Shirogane of the Garrison House. I am on a quest to replenish the water source for our village." She snorts.

"You sound honored."

"I am. Just coming face to face with one of the gods is an honor, even if it isn't the majestic goddess of nature that is the patron of my house."

"Oh Shiro." The girl walks away, going back to her stump and fiddling with a stick, her tongue sticking out slightly. 

"Who are you?"

"Officially? Katie. The others call me Pidge." Shiro raises an eyebrow.

"The others?"

"Yeah, you know. Lance, Keith, Hunk. Those dudes." 

"Dudes?"

"Oops. Wrong era." Shiro has never been more confused. 

"Oh my me, don't tell me you actually don't know the names of your own gods." Shiro's jaw drops. Pidge rolls her eyes, going back to the twig, which is starting to look like a machine of some sorts with spinning blades at the top. It flew up in the air once, then fell back down. Pidge huffed. 

"You're the Nature Goddess," Shiro says, disbelieving. 

"Yes. And I kindly asked you to leave me alone with Keith's wolf and the trees so please, leave me alone."

"I need your help."

"Nope."

"Please."

"Nuh-uh."

"Katie--"

"Go away." Shiro huffs, running his hands through his hair. Who knew gods were so stubborn?

"Heard that."

"Heard what?"

"I'll have you know I take pride in my stubbornness." 

"Look just... Allura sent me. I need help finding the water god. Do you know where he might be?" Pidge snorts.

"He's probably wallowing at the bottom of some ocean eating a tub of ice cream."

"Well I need to find him. My village can't survive long without water." Pidge purses her lips.

"I guess I can help you. Although I don't know how much help talking to him will be for that village of yours. When Lance holds a grudge, he keeps that grudge."

"Why would he have a grudge against us?"

"Many reasons. Someone called him stupid, someone peed in his river, Keith burnt dinner. Some farmer killed his cow."

"He has a cow?"

"Do you want help or not."

"Yes!" Pidge finishes fiddling with her contraption. It hovers in the air beside her. Shiro can't help but be amazed. 

"Lance usually is in his palace under the sea because he's cliché, but sometimes if he's upset he'll hang around Hunk's place, and sometimes Keith's. If he drained the water, your best bet is probably Hunk's. He must be REALLY upset, which means he won't be steady enough to hold his form in Keith's volcano."

"Keith lives in a volcano?"

"That's not important. Go find Hunk and leave me alone. Please."

"I... don't know who Hunk is or where to find him." Pidge runs her hand over her face.

"Finneeee. I'll show you where it is."

"Okay but first I need to set up camp so I can sleep--" Pidge touches his shoulder and Shiro gets a weird feeling. It's as if his whole body is being stretched in a thousand of different directions. He closes his eyes tight, trying to get rid of the headache. When he opens his eyes he's in another place entirely. 

"WHAT THE QUIZNACK!" Pidge scrunches her brow. 

"Who chose that to be this era's swear word?" Shiro looks at her, his eye twitching. 

"Oh. Right. That probably wasn't safe for humans."

"Where are we?"

"Hunk's," Pidge says with a shrug. "Do you need me to walk you to the door or do you got it."

"You are a terrible goddess." Pidge rolls her eyes and skips up to a dark looking cave. Shiro raises an eyebrow and Pidge gestures for him to follow. 

"I'm too old for this." And with that, Shiro follows her into the cave. 


End file.
